Who said “Honesty is the best policy” ?

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, ‘ I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.’

The driver says, ‘Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.’

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, ‘Now don’t be silly dear, you know this car doesn’t have cruise control!

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls , ‘Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once??!!’

The wife smiles demurely and says, ‘You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.’

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, ‘DAMN it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?!!!!!!’

The officer frowns and says, ‘And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.’

The driver says, ‘Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.’

The wife says, ‘Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.’

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, ‘WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!!!’

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?’

‘Only when he’s been drinking’.

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4 Responses to “Who said “Honesty is the best policy” ?”

  1. mandymaxwell Says:

    wouldn’t this have been funnier if it had been the wife driving?..it’s a bit of the old stereotypical humour gone stale otherwise!

  2. honorarynewfie Says:

    Sterotypical it may be, but I’m not sure it works if the roles are reversed… after all, it’s intended as a “punchline” joke not a comment on society.

    I guess you either giggle or you don’t….

  3. Abbadon Says:

    Hey, mate, nice digs! lost touch when you went off to HK. I see you’re still around.

    I’lll have to check out what you’ve been up to…

  4. honorarynewfie Says:

    Hi Mark,

    Wow… is it 5 months already ? Where does the time go ?

    Since I started work again, and what with the travelling to China and Amanda coming over here, I’ve hardly had a moment to myself, as you can probably tell by the lack of content recently.

    Keep meaning to touch base with you and find out what’s been going on in your neck of the woods but your blog seems to require a log-in now ….. ? (or am I being a dumb-ass again ?)


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