Invisible support network wanted : As of Sunday I’m giving up smoking

Yes I’m finally going to do it !

It was going to be last weekend, but I never got round to putting these messages up on my blogs (!)… well that’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it.

So on the basis that, from what I’ve seen, the blogging community is generally a fairly happy and supportive crowd… this is where you guys come in.

I’m going from 40+ a day straight to nothing… zip… zilch… so boy am I going to need some help !!! 🙂

I did give up for about 3 months some 20-odd years ago which (as it was over the Christmas period and the social life in those days was quite hectic) was quite an achievement, especially as we were in the middle of a major project at work at the time.  Eventually, just as I reckon I was about 2 weeks from “cresting the hill” so to speak, after which it would have become a lot easier, my boss turned round to me one day at work and said “For ****’s sake, Tom, have a fag !” (that’s a cigarette in the UK, not a rent boy !)… and I did.  I guess I really had become unbearable.

Life then was typical 80’s computer industry, semi-yuppy, boring-wifey, live life hard and to the limit.

Since then I have tried the patch occasionally, but I can’t get the buggers to light.  I’ve tried the gum, but it tastes like old tobacco – so what’s the point, and in any case my teeth are starting to work loose.

But this time it’s different, I have a real purpose.

I have been making good progress with a particularly lovely, well educated, intelligent Chinese lady over the past few months who I met through one of the dating sites. (Don’t even think of saying it… I’ve even cammed with her at her [government department] office while she’s been at work).  We have finally reached the point where we can say that our understanding of each other has reached equanimity and we are starting to make proper plans for the future. 🙂

The £65 ($125) a week that I am spending on cigarettes (plus even more with the tax hike in this week’s UK Budget) will go a long way towards paying for my trip to Nanning in the summer (wrong time of year, but it’s the only way to fit it into my work plans) and then to start boosting my income so that I can reasonably play my part in supporting us long term, even though her earning potential is greater than mine.

It’s Amanda’s birthday on Monday and this is my birthday present to her.

So not only is this a plea for help in supporting my wallet, and obviously my health, but it is an ongoing love story as well  !

Amanda Me_Profile

Hey… all that and you get it for free here on the interweb.  What more could you want ?

So come on people… no patch, no gum, no going to “Smokers Anonymous”… (“Hello, I’m Tom, and I’m a smoker”.  What’s anonymous about that ?) … just you and me and a mutual desire to make me a “smoke free zone“.

What do you say ?

p.s. Any advice or recommended reading on the following would also be appreciated…

  • Should we get married in China or the UK ?
  • Will Amanda need a work permit even though we are married ?
  • Will her daughter be able to come over as a foreign student, and how ?
  • Other procedural things I should be aware of… ?

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3 Responses to “Invisible support network wanted : As of Sunday I’m giving up smoking”

  1. kath simkin Says:

    Hi Tom,
    On a purely selfish note, if you’re going to get married please do it in the uk! And maybe I could do your wedding stationery (hint hint!!). Pics are lovely, good luck with your trip.
    Kath xxxx

  2. honorarynewfie Says:

    Hi Kath,
    Thanks for putting that comment under this post… just to remind me that I failed miserably :((
    There probably will be two weddings, although they will both be quite small affairs. You will, of course, get the contract for anything on the UK side. I don’t think anything will be needed for the Chinese end, but you never know.
    Take it easy…
    Tom xxxx

  3. Russell Says:

    I am in a similar situation – my fiancee arrives next week. Getting a marriage visa is ‘relatively’ easy as almost any other type of visa is now impossible. My feeling is that once you have married and she and been here for six months this will show commitment. If you get married there you will messed around forever I suspect by immigration (the consulate in China told me they take six months or so to make a decision if you are married in China and then want to come to the UK). If you do get married here she will still have to go back to China to get a visa to come back after her six months has expired – I just suspect that will be easier than starting from scratch. Also once you are married human rights legislation kicks in on your side.
    If you get married here I would suggest that you do it there also – marriage in China is very cheap and provides the right kind of cultural show and shows willing on your part to accept their family. Whatever they say it will go down well with your in-laws – and remember in-laws there are more important than here.
    Either way there is a lot of hassle to get a visa. Leave a message if you want more help,

    Good luck!

    PS Go for a big wedding in China it costs very little.


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