Things that make me laugh (3)

I was “blog-watching” this morning on another site and one of my “regulars” posted the following under the heading “New Scientific Discovery”

New Element DiscoveredResearch has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has 1 neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a sub-Atomic reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

It received this comment from one of the viewers… 

Recent experimentation with Governmentium have shown some interesting characteristics.If a molecule of the chemical, Revoltite, is fired at an atom of Governmentium through a mass driver, a massive reaction occurs. The tentative name for this unique chemical and physical nuclear reaction has is revolution.During this process, the atom of Governmentium is reduced to many sub atomic particles of various and difficult to categorize masses refered to as Anarchium particles. Each of these particles is subtly different from each of the others and seems to behave in a different manner; research continues.

However, it has been noticed that, due to the unique nature of Governmentium and its constituent particles, these Anarchium particles eventually collide with one another and adhere until the original Governmentium atom is recreated. While the architecture of the atom may be changed from the original, the consituent sub-atomic particles remain the same, as do all of the element’s other chemical characteristics.

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