You know how it is when you try something new, you like to investigate… have a look around… see what’s out there….
So that’s what I started doing on WordPress.
I’m still a little confused about the structure of the site but I did manage to find my way to the Stats section. “Oh”, I thought, “I wonder if anyone might have looked at my blog yet”.
I don’t think they have (come on people…. where are you?) but from the information I was given it’s a bit hard to tell. Now bear in mind that I only set this blog up last night 21st Jan 2008 at about 19:30GMT.
Total Views: 35
Best Day Ever: 6 — Saturday, September 23, 2006
Views today: 0
Apparantly WordPress, and many of you, have been waiting for me since at least September 2006 ! Well I’m sorry to have kept you all waiting, but I’m here now so you can all breathe again.
However….. there is something very very spooky about that date….
That is one day after my life changed irrevocably. I started the 22nd September 2006 with a spring in my step and with expectations of taking on the world. New horizons…
I had just arrived in Scotland to stay with relatives after splitting up from the mad-woman I had been living with for the previous 12 years. I had quit my underpaid, overworked job and for the first time in ages I had no pressures, no worries and everything in the future was bright. I was in the process of buying some of the things I would need for this “brave new world” (computer desk, swivel chair, ironing board) when BLAMMO I was knocked down by a car. Some stupid woman had not seen me on the pedestrian crossing and, according to the taxi driver who witnessed it, was still accellerating when she hit me. There were no broken bones because my reactions had saved me from being squished by her but, unknown to anyone at the time, I had received brain trauma in the impact. At the time immediately after the accident I had felt reasonably okay. Shaken, and with the knowledge that the bruises were going to be spectacular, but reasonably okay.
The next day was different. The next day was September 23, 2006 !
It took many months to even begin to understand what I had begun to feel on that day.
Something was different. Something had changed.
I was still full of bravado and saying, “Oh it’s okay, I’ll be all right in a couple of weeks. I’m bound to feel a bit shaken up by it, but it won’t stop me.”
It stopped me in my tracks.
What was different, what had changed, was that I was now unable to remember things that had happened open a few moments before. I would start to do something, get interrupted (perhaps by a phone call), and then completely forget what I had been doing. I couldn’t plan ahead because I had no concept of time… how long is two days ? How long is a week ? I may have spoken to somebody yesterday and think it was weeks ago, or the exact opposite. Concentration had gone. I struggle to watch a football match on TV any more because, even if it is my beloved Royals (Reading FC), I forget what the score is. I have to keep reminding myself by looking at the score at the top of the screen.
My long term memory is relatively unaffected. I can remember most things from before the accident although my memory of music is a little hampered. I use to be able to tell you straight away who did such and such track in 19.. but I struggle to remember names now. But generally it’s okay, so much so that I am in the pub quiz team down at my local. I just keep out of the way if any of the questions relate to anything that has happened in the past 16 months !
Things are getting better, slowly.
I’m starting a “work prep” scheme in February which will, hopefully, get me back on the road to earning some reasonable money again. While on the scheme I will be doing work on a website which is exactly the line I have wanted to get into for a while. My history is computer programming / analysis / system design, and web design is the next logical step. I have proved to myself that I still have those skills, albeit much slower and more ponderous than before, but the brain is starting to work out its own compensatory methods.
In the intervening time I have gone through another relationship, although that ended because the lady felt that I was “too much work” for her. My problems were more than she felt able to cope with. Such a shame because she is a lovely person who has had her own difficulties and I wanted to be strong enough to help her “open up” and face the world again with confidence.
So there we are… I guess this blog now has some form of structure. It appears that it will be the story of how I manage to pick up my life and strive for normality again.
It won’t just be that, though. I’ll mix it up the odd posting about my thoughts on various subjects, a few jokes here and there, whatever happens to be passing through the grey matter at the time (before I forget it).
So why not join me ? You appear to have been waiting long enough… !
Take care of yourselves, and be happy.